Can I join your organization, please?

Some guy from the Hispano Chamber of Commerce just asked me if we were chamber members. I replied "no". He asked "why not" and then threw his business card at me and walked out. Pretty sure he answered his own question there.

Strange questions that I get:

1. "Do people shop here?" (nope. we are just for show)

2. "Do a lot of people shop here?" (well, its no GAP...but we are still open so that implies some business)

3. "Why haven't I heard of this place?" (um, we've all been keeping it a secret from you!)

Black Friday, My Ass

As we do every year, Free Radicals will be closed on Black Friday. Why in the minor gods' names would a retail store support Buy Nothing Day? Are we anti-capitalists? Are anti-consumerists? The answer is a resounding...maybe, but that is another issue for another day.

The fact is, when we as consumers buy things, we are casting a vote. While statistics may vary on the subject, many sources₁ agree that around half of working Americans are employed in the service industries. What does that mean for all of us? If you primarily spend your money at big-box or national chain stores, in time, those chain stores will be the only employers left! If we all shop at Wal-Mart, someday we will all have to work at Wal-Mart.

This year, try to think of Black Friday (and every day, for that matter) from your point of view as a worker... not a customer. If you think its insane to ask people to get up in the middle of the night after Thanksgiving, leave their home and their families just to ring up items that could be purchased the next day, then don't take part! What would happen if NO ONE showed up to the mall on Black Friday?

As for Free Radicals, we (and the zombies) vow not to spend a dollar anywhere on Black Friday. We hope that in time, less demand on Black Friday will mean less people have to work on Black Friday. We hope that people will try not to spend money with companies that they would be unwilling to work for (good thing there are no monopolies, right...) and that in time, we will send a message: That we are ALL workers.

HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY DAY! WE WILL RE-OPEN ON SATURDAY, NOV.27th

1 Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates 45%. Census bereau estimates 48%.

Yesterday I was driving along and saw a car with a bumper sticker which read “London Paris Tokyo Taos”. Not kidding.
If you don’t live here, let me explain the joke.
Taos is a lovely little mountain town that has been smashed by wealthy gallery owners and celebrities. On the same street you will find grossly expensive art and native folks who are starving. No matter how much you enjoy art and the whole rustic southwestern thing, you cannot compare Taos to Tokyo. Taos has a population of like 25.
The culprit here is a type of lady we like to call “The Squa-casian”.
The super white ladies dripping with gigantic turquoise jewelry. They invented the idea of western chic. Ya know, $300 bejeweled overalls, designer cowboy boots (pretty, not functional) driving their Mercedes SUV out to their “original” adobe ranch houses.
Its one thing to appreciate a culture’s style and history. But if you are the historical oppressor of that culture, don’t steal their crap and reinvent it and 10 times the price. Its cultural rape. And it makes you look like an ass-hat to the rest of us.

Spams are bad....

I know that SPAM (the email, not the potted meat) is bad, bad, bad. Its sometimes full of virusey things that want to eat my computer. And sometimes its just stupid poor scamming. But I want to share with you my favorite SPAM ever. Seriously. This guy is fucking lunatic. Enjoy:

Dear Sir,

I have a full length tragedy movie script title: RANKLE: Jones The Golfer. It is a new idea, full of suspense and thrill. I need a production company and financial investment into this movie production as it will make a block buster.

Jones enjoy golf playing, hoping to be a professional golfer like Tiger Woods. Professional golfers play in golf field, ours play at home. No fucking son of a bitch will accept correction. The pride of what is yet to be is a destroyer.

It is traumatic to live with nutty breed of human, all in the name of family-hood. The traumatic experience of Ray over being alienated in the family of five (5) and his emotional disgust over his parents good moral negligence.

His erratic brother Jones gave him a blood bath, living his life-less body after which he was in oblivious state. Ray is cast away and also an object of mimic.

Hilda gave Ray a taste of love life which has been missing for years. I love you mum because you hate me. Cassandra my sister is no different from my mum Vera.

Jones finally golfed out daddy;s ‘’Kenny'’ breath, as he was left to his pool of blood. Jones life turn sour of no savvy as he committed suicide. Those that bury mines indiscriminately will one day fall victim to mine explosion.

There are golf scenes, fist fighting, snake scenes, club scenes, sex scenes, drug scenes, Police shoot out, gangstar, hovercraft, Apache helicopters and Belgian attack dogs.

The script is over 120 pages.

Thanks for finding time to read through. Only get back to me if you are ready for us to proceed with this viable movie production.
Best Regards.
PRODUCER

Why HAVEN’T we made this movie yet? Its genius!
nan

Have you EVER seen an episode of CSI??

Here is the text from an ad that runs every week in our Free local newspaper:

“NEED DENTAL WORK?
Excellent results at up to 2/3 the savings
Montana Dental Clinic
Juarez, Mexico
Free Transportation there and back.”

Are you fucking kidding me??
Let me tell you what that ad really says:

“NEED DENTAL WORK?
Get on a bus with money and a passport in your pocket and cross the border. We will put you in a dental chair, knock you out, and take your money, your kidney, and your identity.
Thanks, gringo!”

Some older conversations that bear mentioning

Some 70 year old holier than thou hippie just started an argument with me because we don't carry anarchy stuff. I explained that buying corporate made in china items with an anarchy symbol on them kinda defeats the idea and he should grab a sharpie and make his own. He didn't get it and called me a fascist before stamping out in a huff.